Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
