Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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