Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
