this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
