I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize