This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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