your parents love me but you hate me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
me + whiskey = a bad person
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
