i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
