I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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