Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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