Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
