doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
