I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
