Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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