You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
