goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize