Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
