Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
