so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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