OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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