I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
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