I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
