I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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