found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Houston, we have a squirter
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
