what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
