i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
