that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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