He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
