Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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