Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
