that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think I sprained my soul last night
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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