marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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