508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She told me I should be a condom model.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
