ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
