Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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