Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Come share oat with me in your robe
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
