i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
