i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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