i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
