I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
