you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
