why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
