Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize