Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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