Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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