Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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