Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
