You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize