Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
