the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize