remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize