There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize