I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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