I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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