SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
