i love accidental penises.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
