I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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