dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
