i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Please don't give away my fajitas
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