Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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