It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
