I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
