my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
