Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
