? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
